


You And Me And The Devil Makes Three

by CCSandwich



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Comedy, Destiel - Freeform, Eventual Smut, Lucifer in Female Vessel, Lucifer is Sassy, Mates, Mild Angst, Multi, Oral Sex, Post-season 11 finale, Sabriel - Freeform, Smut, Some Canon, The Author Regrets Nothing, Which is Kind of Confusing, Wing Kink, not slow burn at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-07-11 06:55:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7034497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CCSandwich/pseuds/CCSandwich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer got pulled out of Castiel by the Darkness, but where did he go after that? A plotline ensues that God swears he never would have thought of. Sam is annoyed, Dean has a few and a half sexuality crises, Castiel is confused, Gabriel magically reappears and Lucifer is just plain annoying. Can they all work it out in the end?</p><p>Post-Season 11. Some things will be compatible with canon, others will not. Hope this will tide you over until the Hellatus is over!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Diaboli Ex Machina

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea the other day and couldn't wait to write it!
> 
> Like I said in the summary, a few things will be canon and a few won't. For example, I'm going to say that Dean talked to his mom for a bit before Castiel came and warned him Sam was in danger. That's where the story will start.
> 
> It's my life goal to play Lucifer on Supernatural at least once, therefore the Lucifer in this story has a few aspects of my personality (and looks) but will for the most part still be the Devil we all know and love.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is rescued by a spunky teenager who turns out to be a hell of a lot more than she seems.

 

Sam Winchester closed his eyes and prepared for death. It wasn't like he hadn't ever died, it's just...

He'd never been shot in the head before.

He expected a short, sharp pain right after the bang, and then he'd drift up to Heaven.

What he hadn't been expecting, however, was nothing.

He opened his eyes, thinking it had been quicker than expected. What he saw, however, made his blood run cold and his legs give out from underneath him

A girl, 5'8" tall and about 16 or 17 with dark brown to purple ombre'd hair had stepped in front of him and was holding the end of the gun in her hand. There was a small hole through the back of her palm, the bullet perched on her arm. 

"Ooh boy, that  _really_ smarts," the girl said, smirking. Sam still couldn't see her face, but the woman from the Men of Letters could. Her eyes widened in horror.

"But that's-you can't be-they said she killed you!" The woman gasped, stepping back.

"They were wrong," the girl replied, dropping the gun to the floor, her hand fully healed. She wrapped it around the woman's throat, lifting her off the ground.

"No," the woman choked, "please. I have a son!"

The girl laughed. "If you're a part of the Men of Letters, you won't for long. I'll bet they told you that you could keep him, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" The woman demanded, making eye contact with Sam and pleading with him with her eyes.

"The Men of Letters just  _loovvee_ little boys," the girl leered. "They'll steal him from you and train him to be a stone-cold killer. None of those old men like getting their hands dirty, so they steal other people's kids to do it instead."

"You're lying!" the woman protested, again struggling in the girl's grip.

"I'm not, I swear," the girl said nonchalantly. "It's nothing but the truth. So, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to give you a choice. You're going to go back to England, get your son, and leave the Men of Letters after you tell them that Sam and Dean are dead. That, or I'm going to teleport you to your house in England, make you watch me kill your son, and then I'll kill you. Your choice."

The woman whimpered. "I'll tell them, I'll tell them! Just leave my son alone!"

The girl smiled. "Good, good! Now, go get all your stuff, get on your private jet, and fly your happy ass all the way back across the pond."

She dropped the blonde woman, who collapsed on the floor and gasped for air. She got up, running out of the room and slamming the bunker door.

The girl sighed, spinning around to help Sam up. She hauled the 6'4" giant to his feet as easily as if he were a feather, then pranced over to the map table and sat down, putting her combat-booted feet on the glass surface and sighing.

"Pardon my asking," Sam said, sitting in the chair across from her, "but who the fuck are you?"

"You mean you don't recognize me?" the girl replied, faking a hurt tone and expression. "I'm disappointed, moose. I've just had a little bit of work done is all."

"Seriously, I will shoot you if you don't tell me who the hell you are and what the hell you're doing here," Sam said.

"You have to guess. I'll give you a hint: wings," the girl said, folding her arms behind her head.

"Gabriel?" Sam whispered in disbelief. He hadn't seen the archangel in forever, and his leftover feelings for the golden-winged Trickster still lay dormant in his chest.

The girl made a sound like a buzzer. "Close! Keep with the archangel theme, just subtract the obsessive candy eating and add a narcissistic personality disorder."

Sam gaped at her. " _Lucifer_?!"

"Bingo!" she said, smirking. "Didja miss me, Sammy?"

"No," Sam said. "What the hell happened to you? I thought Amara killed you!"

"She got pretty fucking close," Lucifer griped. "My grace still hurts. I had just enough left in me to head to the nearest hospital." At Sam's horrified look, the archangel held up her (his?) hands in surrender. "Don't get your panties in a bunch, she's a coma patient. She was just about to leave when I asked her, and she said yes. She's happily in Heaven now, I suppose."

"But why a teenage girl, Lucifer?" Sam asked, confused. "Why not some guy?"

"Because this teenage girl," Lucifer replied, "is your half-sister."

A pregnant silence filled the room, before it was broken by a single, moose-bellowed word.

"WHAT?!?!"


	2. Expositiones, Interpretationes, Explicationes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer's back, but he's got some news that both Winchesters need to hear. Enter Dean and Castiel, stage right, as shit is prepared for launching at the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay double updates on two of my fanfics. Today is a special day.
> 
> This story may or may not be as massive as Starlight in Green Eyes. I'm still attempting to catch the rather copious amount of plot bunnies tearing their way around my head, so it might be awhile before I've got even a vague idea of how long this fanfic will be.
> 
> In the meantime, enjoy!

The moose bellow was still echoing around the bunker when Dean and Castiel showed up.

Lucifer came out of the cringe she'd assumed and waved cheerfully at the two. "Hello, boys!"

"Sammy," Dean said, reaching for his gun, "who's this?"

"Lucifer," the moose replied, not taking his eyes off of the teenage girl/archangel in front of him.

"Lucifer?!" Dean asked incredulously. 

The girl smirked. "Call me Luci. And please attempt not to shout. Your brother just attempted to burst my eardrums."

"It was your fault," Sam said. "You said your vessel was my  _sister_."

"WHAT?!" Dean yelled as Lucifer said, "Well, I was right."

"Lucifer," Castiel growled, "State your business and begone."

"Oh, baby brother, so eager to get rid of me? And Jesus, Dean, could you be any louder?" Lucifer asked, getting up and strolling to the other side of the room, grabbing a beer. She walked back to the table and set the beer down, uncapping it. Sam snatched it out of her hand.

"Hey!" Came the indignant shout.

"You're underage," Sam snapped back, taking a swig, "and I needed some alcohol. TALK."

"Well, Sammoose, when a man and a woman love each other, they--" 

"Dad swore he didn't have any other affairs than Adam's mom," Dean said. "You're lying."

"Fine, fine," Lucifer said, crossing her arms. "In the year 1999, John Winchester, being a hunter, needed money."

"Are you suggesting," Dean said dangerously lowly, his hand close to his gun, "that my father whored himself out?"

Lucifer laughed, the peals coming from the girl twice as angelic as they should have been. "Of course not, now will you let me finish the story? Now, like I said, he needed money, and in the nineties, where's the best place for it?"

"A sperm bank," Castiel said gruffly. Dean and Sam both looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "What? You were the ones who introduced me to television."

"Ding ding ding! The angel with a shotgun gets the plan! So, John Winchester walks into a backwoods fertility clinic, lets them take a picture of him, beats off in a little room, leaves the cup, and walks out of the place with $300. Enter Charlotte Higgins, a single painter from Portland, Oregon who wanted kids but not a husband. She goes to the sperm bank, picks John's face out of the album, and goes through the standard IVF procedure. Nine months later on January 3rd of 2000, she gives birth to Emily Higgins," Lucifer said, gesturing to the body he was in. "Sixteen years later, first-time driver Emily gets into a wreck with a drunk driver on the Interstate between Oregon and Washington. Bam, instant coma. She was life-flighted to a hospital about fifty miles from here, as they were the only ones with more than a paragraph of research on coma patients. I found her there, floating along in the hospital. She said yes to me because she knew she wouldn't wake up. Her condition was that I say goodbye to her mother for her. So, I 'woke up', told her mother goodbye, and 'died'. Then, when I got in the morgue, I made a copy of the body and skedaddled my way out of there.

"And that's why I told you that this vessel is your half sister. She's able to withstand being my vessel because of it. If she wasn't, I'd be disintegrating like Nick did. Emily Higgins is your family," Lucifer finished, "and now, so am I."

"You're not family to me," Dean hissed, raising his gun. His arm was pushed back down by the blue-eyed angel next to him. "Cas?"

"He's family to me," the angel said.

"But he and God--"

"Made up completely," Castiel cut in firmly. "They forgave each other for everything that happened at the dawn of creation. I would know, Dean, as I was with Lucifer at the time that they made up. In fact, I was with him for  _everything leading up to it_. Lucifer can be trusted, Dean. I promise."

The older Winchester looked back and forth between the angels helplessly. One of them was giving him puppy eyes, the other one was smirking. Dean hung his head in defeat, handing the gun to Castiel. The angel uncocked it, handing it back to the hunter.

"Good! Now, about my room..."

"No," Dean said, "that's my room, and you won't be sleeping there. You can have the guest room."

"But Dean," Sam said, "That's where Castiel is sleeping."

"Fine," Dean replied, "Cas can sleep in my room and I'll take the couch out here."

"Dean, it's fine. I can sleep in the storage cells downstairs," Castiel said.

"Dean," Sam said, tired of it all, "you've got a couch in your room. Let Cas sleep on that and you can have your bed."

Lucifer giggled as a slightly blushing Dean grabbed the angel by his arm and led him down the hall to his room. When they were gone, the archangel turned to Sam, who was looking at her warily.

"You're fine, Samoose. I can take care of myself. I'll keep my room clean, I'll keep the music down, and I promise not to prank your brother and his boyfriend much."

"Lucifer..." Sam mumbled, finishing his beer with a sigh. "It's not that. Do you...do you know anything about Gabriel?"

The look on Lucifer's face was genuine surprise, but it morphed into a smirk. "Why, moose? Worried about your guardian angel?"

"Kind of," Sam admitted. "I mean, with everything that happened last time, I'm worried that he wouldn't be able to come back again."

"Sam," Lucifer said. The moose looked up. She had a serious look on her face. "Gabriel is a wild card. He's...he'll come back eventually. If I've learned anything, it's that he always manages to come back."

Sam was surprised by the sincerity that Lucifer was displaying, but he didn't show it.

"Now," Lucifer gleefully said, clapping his hands and standing up, "I've had a long day and I need to get some sleep. Where's my room?"

"Guest room's this way," Sam replied, getting up and throwing his beer in the garbage before heading down the hallway.

Sam had a feeling the next few days would prove to be  _weird_. He was more right than he'd ever know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the title of this fanfic is based off of the song from "O Brother Where Art Thou?" that the women in the stream sing. Also, the thing about IVF in the beginning is true. I was a "Test Tube Baby" (it was really a petri dish). This'll be like a game of two truths and a lie, where you guys try to figure out which parts of Lucifer's stories about "Emily" are true and which aren't.
> 
> Leave some kudos, bookmark, comment, etcetera etcetera! 
> 
> I love you all, thanks so much for all the reads.


	3. Auscultatio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone walks in on everything, but only one is scarred for life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out! I just got a new job that I'm working mornings at, so I can't type between 8 and noon. 
> 
> I'll try and work on some more stuff in the afternoons but I've got quite a few chores and a nap to take after getting up so early on my summer break days T^T.
> 
> It's super, super short but it's the best I can do since I have to get up early for work tomorrow. Enjoy!

Living with the most powerful archangel God had ever created proved to be one of the Winchesters' most difficult tasks yet.

The first problem they'd run into was Lucifer's appreciation of food. The archangel's appetite rivaled that of the moose. Dean was astounded.

"You're like, 5 foot 8 and a size 6," the dumbfounded hunter had said to Lucifer. "How are you eating so much so fast? Where does it go? Does our sister have a hollow leg or something?"

Her response was a middle finger, as her mouth was too full of burger to give a sufficiently understandable offensive response.

The second thing they'd run into was the  _interference_ in their everyday lives. Dean had walked into an intense conversation between archangel and angel about the in and outs (pun intended) of anal sex. Castiel had turned to Dean and, completely straight-faced, asked if he could try it with him. Lucifer just about died laughing on the floor when Dean turned beet red and mumbled something about considering the offer. When Lucifer told Sam the story, he ended up rolling around on the floor laughing as well. Dean, who had been there during the storytelling to the moose as well, just turned red again and excused himself.

Sam had caught Lucifer praying to Gabriel, because "the moose is sexually frustrated and I'm prevented by law and the kindness of my heart from providing relief". Lucifer was quickly picked up and deposited in her room to keep praying while Sam washed his brain out with bleach to get rid of the mental images (but not before having a quick fantasy session of what, exactly, would happen if Gabriel came back).

All in all, the arrangement was weird at best and downright awkward at worst. It was like a bad episode of Two and a Half Men: Satan, Sam and Dean Winchester, and the Baby in a Trenchcoat. With Lucifer's constant sarcastic remarks heard constantly from across the bunker, Dean's loud music blaring in the mornings as he lip-synched in the kitchen, and Castiel's hounding of the older Winchester to "participate in anal coitus with me, Dean", the bunker was seeing its most lively crowd since God was living there.

Every person living there thought nothing could possibly happen to make it worse.

And then, Gabriel decided to answer Lucifer's prayer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos, comment, subscribe, bookmark, etc.
> 
> Starlight will be updated soon, I promise!


	4. Conturbatio Incipit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel returns and everything gets worse and better at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating today because I had an idea in the car yesterday and figured I'd put it here. I'm still pretty shaken from the Orlando shooting as, even though I don't mention it in public, I am a member of the LGBT+ community. If any of my readers are from Orlando, please go donate blood or anything you can to help the victims, their families, and their friends recover from this tragedy.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter; there will be another one soon.

It happened on a normal day.

Well, as normal as a Men of Letters bunker containing the Winchester brothers, Satan, and the Angel of Thursday could get.

Sam had yet again chased Lucifer out of his room, this time with offerings of ice cream and candy bars scattered on the bed around her, as she prayed to Gabriel, "the moose is  _still_ sexually frustrated, bro, so you gotta come help before he explodes".

They'd all met for dinner and were lounging in the living room of sorts, Castiel and the Winchesters each with a beer and the pouting Lucifer with a bottle of ginger ale.

"Why can't I have a beer like the rest of you? It's not like Emily's gonna get brain damage or anything, I can repair anything that happens to her!"

"No," Sam replied. "That's our, apparently, baby sister you're walking around in. You're  _NOT_ getting her drunk."

Lucifer stuck her tongue out, the forked appearance making Sam's face assume Bitchface #257 ("Lucifer why the fuck is your tongue still forked you're in a different body" bitchface).

Dean cringed as Lucifer stuck her tongue out at his brother. "Dude. That's disgusting."

She raised her hand and flipped him off, not taking her eyes off the moose. They had a staring contest for a couple minutes, Sam's bitchface still in full effect, until something happened.

Both Lucifer and Castiel shot to their feet, the sound of wings flapping agitatedly heard behind them.

"What's going on?" Sam and Dean asked in perfect unison, panicked.

"An angel is attempting to enter the bunker," Castiel replied.

"I recognize that grace, though," Lucifer said, clapping her hands together and erasing the angel sigils. A ball of golden light shot down from the ceiling and landed on the concrete floor with a loud thump. Lucifer put the sigils back and helped the ball of golden light up.

"Gabriel!" Sam exclaimed. "You..." he trailed off as he saw what was behind the archangel.

"Hey-o, Moose," Gabriel said, shaking Lucifer's assistance off.

"Brother, your wings are out," Castiel commented.

Gabriel's eyes widened before he shimmied his torso a bit. Sure enough, three pairs of golden wings were spread majestically behind him.

"Dammit, I thought I put them away," the Trickster said, blinking. The wings disappeared, but the arousal rising in Sam didn't.

Lucifer giggled as she hugged Gabriel. "Did you hear? Dad and I made up!"

Gabriel laughed, hugging her back. "I heard. It was quite the surprise, let me tell you. Here I am wandering around and all of a sudden I hear that the two oldest grudges since the beginning of time have _both_ been resolved."

"Where have you been this whole time?" Dean asked.

"Searching the universe for any trace of your heterosexuality. I didn't find it, which is why I came back. That, and a little horned Satanic birdie started praying to me about someone being a bit on the tense side," Gabriel replied, staring straight at Sam who was currently attempting to adjust himself without being detected.

Dean started sputtering, as did Sam. Castiel cocked his head to the side, staring at Dean questioningly. "But Dean, you do not identify as heterosexual. Sam and Lucifer told me you identified as bisexual."

The older Winchester turned bright red, grabbing Castiel's hand and pulling him down the hallway.

Gabriel laughed, turning to Lucifer. "So, any news on the sexually frustrated moose I'm supposed to somehow alleviate?"

Lucifer smirked, pointing to Sam. "There's your patient, Doc. Make sure you treat him well."

She pulled Gabriel closer to her, whispering, "The rooms are soundproofed. Have fun."

As Gabriel grabbed Sam's hand and led him down the hallway toward the moose's room, Lucifer plugged her headphones into her iPod and laid down on the couch. With Fall Out Boy blaring, she fell asleep as the two couples started working out their problems. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, subscribe, bookmark, leave kudos, do whatever you want :) Destiel will get their own chapter and Sabriel will get their own chapter and they'll both be out pretty soon.
> 
> I'm working on a new chapter of Starlight right after I publish this chapter so feel free to get your hopes up!


	5. Et Angelus Venator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean attempts to understand what the hell is going on with Castiel. Things happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STARLIGHT IS DONE ERMAHGERD
> 
> Well, except for the epilogue. But that'll be out really soon, and then you guys can read my first full-length multi-chaptered COMPLETED fanfiction. I'm so excited.
> 
> Enjoy this Destiel chapter! I'm going to warm up to full-on sex so there isn't going to be anything too graphic in this chapter. There will be a sexual situation, but there will be no putting things in other things. Unless Princess Power Bottom asks nicely (you all know exactly who I'm referring to) *wink wink*

Dean dragged his angel down the hallway into his room.

"Dean, are we talking? Is this a talk?" Castiel asked confusedly as he sat down on the bed. 

Dean paced around the room, muttering to himself quietly.

"Dean?" Castiel asked again, now genuinely concerned.

"It's fine, everything's fine, Cas," Dean said. "I'm attempting to get over the fact that my brother is probably fucking an archangel right now. And that Satan in my sister's body is the one who set it up."

"If it helps, my brother is, as you say, 'fucking' one of the most prolific hunters on the face of this Earth and my oldest brother is the one who 'set it up'," Castiel supplied.

Dean huffed a dry laugh that didn't reach his eyes. "Well, there's one thing we have in common: our families are fucked up."

"I think mine is worse than yours, Dean," Castiel deadpanned. "It's on a much larger scale."

Dean sat on the bed next to his angel. "You're right about that. I've been dealing with you guys' collective daddy issues for years now."

"I'm sorry," Castiel replied, fidgeting. "But that's not why you really pulled me into your room, is it?"

"No," Dean admitted, slumping. "Lucifer's been trying to get us to sleep together for weeks, and it's killing me."

"I am sorry," Castiel said. "I did not think Lucifer would be so...forward when I asked her to help me."

"You didn't think she'd-wait, what?" Dean asked, confused. "You asked her to help you?!"

"Yes," Castiel said bashfully. 

"With what?" Dean demanded.

"I wanted her to explain...things."

"What things?"

"I wanted her to help explain what I was feeling," Castiel said, as if he thought Dean could read his mind.

"What, are you in love with someone?" Dean asked. "Who's the lucky girl?"

"It's not a girl," Castiel admitted quietly.

"Hey, that's okay. I'm not gonna shame you for being bi. God knows how many times I've avoided telling people  _I_ am," Dean said, putting an arm around his best friend's shoulders. "I'd never be mad at you for liking guys, too."

"Even if the guy I like is you?" the angel asked, looking down at his hands.

Dean got up off the bed and got down on his knees in front of Castiel, pulling his chin up to face him.

"Cas? Did you mean that?" the hunter asked gently.

"Yes," the angel replied, looking away from Dean. 

"Why are you being so bashful? I'm not going to get mad at you for liking me. I mean, I'm a little miffed that you hadn't told me until now, but I'm not angry with you," Dean explained.

"I'm sorry for not telling you. I didn't know how you'd react to finding out I'm in love with you," Castiel said. "I was afraid you'd be mad, so I covered up my true feelings by encouraging you to sleep with me. I don't know what I was thinking."

Dean laughed, winking at his angel. "I'm sure you would have declared your love for me at some point if we ended up having sex. I'm just that good in bed. You wouldn't believe how many confessions of love I've gotten during orgasm. It's probably some kind of record."

That made Castiel smile slightly as he looked up. "Does that mean you're not mad at me?"

"Mad? I'm thrilled!" Dean said. "I've been chasing after your feathery ass for  _years_ , Cas. I'm just happy you feel the same way I do."

Castiel's eyes positively lit up as he grinned. "I love you, Dean Winchester."

"And I love you, Castiel...Winchester," Dean finished softly, kissing his angel's cheek before softly kissing his nose.

The hunter moved to get up, but Castiel was quicker. Pushing backwards with his legs, he pulled himself and Dean backwards onto the bed, the hunter on top of him.

"Dean," Castiel said, watching Dean's surprise fade into a sensual smile, "I need to make another confession of love."

"What are you...ohh," Dean replied, smirking. "Sure, angel. I won't take you just yet, but I get the feeling you could use a couple kisses."

The hunter leaned down to kiss the breath out of his angel, smiling when Castiel's mouth opened to accept his tongue. He lightly pulled on the angel's lips with his teeth before moving down the angel's neck.

"Dean, where--ah!" Castiel gasped, throwing his head back as Dean nipped at his neck, pulling the trenchcoat and his shirt off and throwing them into some corner of the room.

The hunter nibbled lightly at Castiel's nipples, pinching whichever one his mouth wasn't on. The angel writhed beneath him, pleasured sighs, moans, and gasps escaping his red-bitten lips. He gasped as Dean moved over, licking into his navel before mouthing at his obvious erection through his pants.

Castiel's back arched and he slid a hand into Dean's hair, pulling none-too-gently. The hunter seemed to like it, though, as he moaned and redoubled his efforts. Castiel's pants and boxers went flying off the bed as Dean unwrapped his prize and immediately slid it into his mouth.

Castiel moaned low and rough as he felt the first warm, wet slide of Dean's mouth on his arousal. He'd expected this to feel good, but he hadn't expected it to feel  _this_ good. What he also didn't expect was how determined Dean was, who moaned again when the angel tugged on his hair. The vibrations traveled through Castiel's cock and up his spine.

"Dean! Ah!"

The hunter chuckled, sliding his mouth down over the angel until his nose brushed the curly black hairs at the base of Castiel's dick. He slid back up, scraping his teeth lightly on the angel's arousal. The effect was instantaneous. Castiel's grip in the hunter's hair tightened as he arched his back, forcing himself deeper into Dean's mouth. The hunter didn't mind, swallowing around the angel before bobbing up and down.

Dean ground against the mattress, moaning again when his cock finally got some stimulation. He slipped a hand down into his underwear, gathering some pre-come onto his fingers. He brought his hand back up, sliding one of the fingers into Castiel.

"Dean!!" 

Castiel couldn't believe that his hunter, the one he'd been in love with since he'd first seen him in that barn, was doing this to him. He pushed onto the finger before thrusting forward into Dean's mouth. He used the strength he had left to look at Dean's body, to make sure the hunter wasn't uncomfortable. The sight of Dean's jean-clad waist rolling into the bed in time with his bobs up and down Castiel's cock and his thrusts with his fingers made the angel groan, low and loud, as his eyes rolled back into his head.

The last straw, however, was Dean nailing his prostate right on. Castiel keened, his teeth gritted, as his eyes rolled back into his head and he came in Dean's mouth.

The hunter groaned, swallowing what he could as he came as well from the feeling of Castiel's muscles clamping around his fingers. He collapsed on the bed next to the angel, squirming a bit as he felt the come inside his jeans. The angel snapped and Dean's clothes (along with the semen) disappeared and the two were relocated to under the covers, Dean spooning Castiel comfortably.

"You didn't confess to me when you came, Cas," Dean said cheekily.

"I was overloaded," Castiel admitted.

"Just wait until we get to the main event, angel. You'll really like that."

"Dean?" the angel asked timidly. "When we get to the 'main event', as you call it, there is a...condition we have to fulfill."

"Condition? What is it?" Dean inquired.

"When an angel is mating with their desired life partner for the first time and every time, it is customary for that angel to reveal their wings to their mate. It is also customary to leave the wings revealed for the duration of the coupling, as they are very sensitive and can be stimulated to assist in the mating," Castiel said informatively.

"Does that mean I get to touch your wings while I take you apart? Great," Dean hummed, smirking. "I can't wait, angel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be Sabriel, and then the next one after that will be like a weird clickbait article: The Winchesters and Their Angels Went On A Hunt, But NO ONE Could Have Predicted What Came NEXT!
> 
> Lol aaanndd that's all the info you guys are getting.
> 
> Bookmark this, rec this, leave kudos, subscribe to me, comment, do whatever the heck you awesome fanfiction readers do when you're not disguising yourselves as respectable human beings (I'm guilty of this as well, don't worry).


	6. Nocte Archangeli

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Gabriel talk and Gabriel explains what he's been doing all this time.
> 
> Cuddles happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY
> 
> *in Rapunzel voice while lying facedown in a pile of plot bunnies* I...am a despicable human being.
> 
> I promise I'll start doing regular updates on this. I'll work out a day of the week that I can update and I'll start regularly writing new chapters.
> 
> To make up for my continued douchebaggery, y'all are getting a double update of this story today. I hope you're happy :) Enjoy the Sabriel feels! There isn't any smut in this chapter but it's for good reason, promise.

Sam locked the door behind him as Gabriel collapsed on the bed, stretching his arms and legs out as far as he could.

"So," Sam said, leaning against the door, crossing his arms. "Care to explain what you've been doing all this time?"

"Well, to start, I think you know that wasn't really me that was working for Metatron," Gabriel started. "I'm sure Castiel told you about that. No, I died when for real when I got in that fight with Luci waaay back. I've been dead ever since, up until about a month ago when God decided to bring me back."

"He told us he didn't have enough time," the younger Winchester mused confusedly.

"He didn't. At first, it was my personality in a human body. My vessel was alive again, and I was still in it, but I didn't have any of my angel powers. Then, just a week ago, I was restored to my full capacity. In fact, I'm more powerful than I've ever been," Gabriel explained.

"God and Amara made up a week ago," Sam said. "They must have worked together to repair your grace."

"That's how I knew they made up. I felt her helping," the archangel replied, lying down on the bed and crossing his arms over his chest.

"So why did it take a week for you to come here? I mean, I know you must have felt Lucifer's presence in the world. Why did you decide to come here after he killed you so long ago?" Sam asked.

"For me, it wasn't a week. I used my new powers to go all over the universe and travel through time. I ended up talking to Lucifer waay back before he fell. I told him he'd kill me in the future, but that I wouldn't be mad at him about it. He was a little confused, but I imagine he's out in the living room remembering that right now."

Sam sighed deeply before lying down on the bed next to the archangel. Gabriel rolled over, propping his head up on his arm and looking at Sam.

"You know," Sam said softly, "I have a tendency to fall in love really easily. It happened with Jess, which was the only relationship that actually lasted until she died. When you distracted Lucifer and died because of it, I...I felt something. It was tiny, and I didn't want to deal with it because of what you did to Dean during the repeating Tuesdays. But just now, when I saw your wings, it came back."

Gabriel put his arm on Sam's chest, leaning into him before pulling the rest of his body against Sam's side. "Loving an archangel ain't a good thing, Samoose. Lots of bad things happen when you love an archangel."

"I'm aware of that," Sam replied. "But it doesn't feel bad to me."

"It never does," Gabriel said, snuggling into Sam's chest and closing his eyes. "It never does."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, it's super short, but the next one will be much longer. I just have to type it lol.
> 
> It should be up before midnight tonight, so just wait a little bit and there'll be another chapter!
> 
> Comment, kudos, bookmark, subscribe, whatever!


	7. Angeli Venatio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters, their angels, and Lucifer go on a hunt to take down a few low-level demons disloyal to Crowley. 
> 
> Hilarity ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a shithead who promises double updates and then never follows through with them. 
> 
> I started writing this a month ago and then shit hit the fan. My dog got injured and we had to take her to the doggy hospital. She got staples in her right back thigh and we had to watch her constantly to make sure she didn't pull them out or lick them, so I'd been working mornings then watching the dog all afternoon. It was exhausting worrying about my baby for a week, and I hadn't had the time to finish writing.
> 
> Then, I had to go home to Mom's ('rents are divorced) and stay there for a week while doing tons of chores. Then, I had to go to band camp for a week. Then, I came back home, cleaned my room, went shopping and got my first ever phone, and then I had to start my junior year yesterday.
> 
> I'm really sorry, and I know I said I would make time for AO3 this year. I'll still continue to try and update mostly regularly, but I'm taking two advanced classes this year (College Algebra and Physics) so I'll probably have a ton of homework throughout the year. I'm really hoping that my class workload will be less than what I'm expecting, but we'll just have to see.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! This is the hunt chapter so you'll just have to see how it goes!

The Winchester brothers and their respective angels all awoke the next morning to find Lucifer in the kitchen, flipping pancakes and blasting Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off."

Sam smirked at Dean, knowing full well how much his brother liked the song. His smirk was short lived, however, as Lucifer turned around, pointing her spatula at him and singing, "To the fella over there with the hella good hair...", accompanying it with a shake of the hips. She continued the song, oblivious to the bitchface being directed at her.

Gabriel lost it. He was on the floor in an instant, laughing his ass off. Dean joined him a second later, and even Castiel had started to chuckle. 

The song ended as Lucifer flipped the last pancake onto a plate full of them and handed it to Sam, patting him on the back. She stole one of the pancakes and put it on a plate, carrying it to the table that already had some syrup and a container of butter on it. 

While everyone was eating, Lucifer decided to drop a bomb on their heads.

"We've got a hunt."

Sam nearly spit out his (delicious) pancake bite. "What?"

Lucifer shrugged. "I owe Crowley a favor."

At Castiel's look, she admitted, "Okay, Castiel, I owe him a lot more than one. But he's using his first one right now. There's a few demons that are still disloyal to him and they're hiding out here on Earth. Crowley needs us to kill them for him. You guys up for the job?"

* * *

And that was how the Angel of Thursday, the Angel that Told Mary She Was Preggers, the Angel That Fought With God For A Few Million Years But They're Okay Now, and the Winchester brothers ended up in the Impala together.

Sam and Dean were up front, Dean driving and Sam in the passenger seat. Castiel sat behind Dean with Lucifer next to him in the middle. Gabriel sat behind Sam.

"Hey, Gabe," Lucifer said.

"What?"

"We should see if we can braid Sam's hair."

"Ooh, do you know how to French braid?"

"Yeah," Lucifer replied, "and we can bring it to a man-bun at the top of his head. It'll be so cool."

"That's gonna be a strong no," Sam said, putting an end to the speculation.

"Doesn't matter what you say. We'll do it eventually anyway," Lucifer replied nonchalantly, fist-bumping Gabriel. "We'll find a way."

"You don't even know how to braid," Sam said.

Gabriel laughed. "Who do you think braided Jesus's hair when he died the first time? He couldn't keep it from tangling at night, so I had to braid it. High maintenance, that Messiah. I can't tell you how many times I had to wash his feet."

Sam and Dean couldn't tell if he was lying or not. "Where did you say these demons were?"

"About ten miles from here. They're in an abandoned warehouse. Crowley said some of them are powerful, so we should be careful," Lucifer said.

"Uh, Lucifer? We killed Azazel. And Lilith. And Ruby," Dean said. "We can handle a few powerful demons."

"Remind me again how many times you've died, Dean-o? Not counting the repeating Tuesday I created?" Gabriel asked, eyebrow raised. "You too, Moose. Dad said he was tired of picking up the pieces." When Castiel chuckled, Gabriel turned to him. "And don't even get me started on how many times you've died."

"I should say the same to you, Gabe. To the Winchesters, you've died thrice," Castiel replied in his gravelly voice.

"Everybody's died, guys, get over it," Lucifer reminded them, bored. "I think in this case, however, Sam and Dean hold the record. Everyone else in your family, Adam included, only died once."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked. "Sam tackled him into the cage with you and Michael. He's not really dead."

"Adam died when Cassie here molotoved him. When a vessel dies but the angel within does not, the angel can bring back the vessel in body only while the vessel's soul proceeds to its place. Adam is in heaven," Gabriel informed them nonchalantly.

"What he says is true. Jimmy is no longer present in this body," Castiel said. "He died the first time I did."

"So all this time that we've forgotten about Adam in Hell, he's really been in Heaven the whole time?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Yup," Lucifer said. "I'd elaborate more, but we're here."

The Impala pulled up to a decrepit old warehouse. Its windows were empty, the glass having been broken long ago. Colorful graffiti littered the walls, outlined by the metal panels peeling away.

Sam opened the trunk of the Impala, retrieving a bag of spray paint. "Guess we'd better add our own graffiti. I'll make the Devil's Trap to park the Impala on, you guys put some from here to the door. If they're really as powerful as Lucifer says, we need insurance in case they come chasing after us."

He handed a can to each angel and one to his brother before getting to work. Behind him, he heard Lucifer crack up.

"They're pink! They're hot pink!" she said, laughing.

"Shut up! Ace didn't have red, so I had to get the next best!" Dean replied, blushing slightly. "Shut up, you'll let them know we're here."

"Sorry, Barbie," Lucifer shot back, still giggling a bit. The older Winchester flipped her the bird and went back to painting his (hot pink) Devil's Trap.

Ten minutes later, Lucifer stood up, groaning. "These things take FOREVER to paint. You two do realize you've got two archangels and one near-archangel on your team, right? It's not like we're going to need these."

* * *

 

They did.

"Sam! RUN!" Dean yelled as he zigzagged through Devil's Traps to get to Baby. 

They'd entered the warehouse and thing had gone as planned... At first. That was, until one of the demons figured out that they were in the company of two of the most powerful archangels to ever exist. Then, everything went to shit.

Three of the demons had run away, leaving ten more to fight the Winchesters and the angels. However, the ones that had run away brought backup in the form of demons with Telekinesis, which had repeatedly thrown the Winchesters against the walls. This left the angels to defend and kill, right up until all of the demons in the room were dead. Or so they thought. More reinforcements arrived, leaving the Winchesters to run while the angels dispatched with any others that decided to appear.

Sam and Dean made it to the Impala, Sam taking his iPod out of his pocket and playing an exorcism tape he'd recorded a while back on repeat. The brothers saw light flashing through the shelled-out windows of the warehouse along with puffs of black smoke, screams, yells, growls, and laughs echoing as a soundtrack.

Then, all was silent. The Winchesters watched in awe as the three angels strode out of the building, all of them completely unharmed. Lucifer was smiling, Gabriel was inspecting a tear in his shirt, and Castiel was looking Dean over to make sure he was okay.

"I haven't had a fight like that in a long time!" Lucifer said triumphantly, grinning. "I missed the feeling all of those years in the Pit."

"I agree," Gabriel replied. "It was exhilarating."

"We shall have to go on more hunts," Castiel agreed. He noticed Sam and Dean's gaping mouths. "What?"

"There had to have been at least fifty demons in there. I mean, I know you guys are archangels, but fifty?! How are you not scratched at all?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Like you said," Lucifer replied, inspecting her nails. "We're archangels."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "We've got multiple wing sets. In battle, we can sharpen them up defensively and whirl around like blade tornadoes to kill things. It lets us attack while also defending our vessels, which are more fragile than our wings are. All in all, a pretty good system. Also, BLADE TORNADO."

Castiel nodded in agreement, stopping as he blushed under Dean's heated gaze from the mention of wings.

"We should get back," Lucifer said. "I want a burger. Actually, I want two burgers. Preferably with bacon and white cheddar. And some fries. And a slice of cherry pie. Or maybe pecan."

Sam looked sidelong at Dean as they all piled into the Impala. 

"What?" Dean asked defensively, noticing the look as he fired Baby up.

"Well, she's definitely related to  _you_."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all of the kudos on my other fanfics! I loved seeing them when I had just enough time to check my email. I'm hoping this one will pick up a bit more but it's okay if it doesn't.
> 
> Leave me some comments! I <3 constructive criticism!


	8. Domestico Angelorum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer's morning before the hunt has started an epidemic of something Sam and Dean have absolutely no experience with: Domesticity.
> 
> Also, wings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So get this: I'm going to have more time to write because my College Algebra class is completely online. That means that I don't need to write any answers down on paper, which saves a hell of a lot of time for me.
> 
> Also, physics is super freaking easy. 
> 
> This chapter just kind of popped into my head the other day so I figured I'd go ahead and write it. I know you guys aren't exactly hanging on for more updates, but they'll definitely be a little bit more regular from now on. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Dean rubbed his eyes, yawning loudly. He'd regrettably spent the night sans Castiel, but after the chaotic events of the previous day, he was out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow. (He suspected it had something to do with said angel, as the guy had been avoiding him since they got home from the diner).

As he walked into the main room of the bunker, an incredible smell wafted into his nose. Dean snickered, hoping Lucifer was yet again making breakfast and teasing the moose.

What he saw, however, when he entered the kitchen was something that made his jaw drop almost completely to the floor. It wasn't Lucifer cooking, it was Castiel, wearing his cute little apron. Next to him, sitting on the now-spotless counter and noisily chewing gum, was Gabriel, who was handing Cas various ingredients as they went along.

"What the hell are you two doing? Where's Lucifer?" Dean asked, collecting his wits.

"Luci's in her room pre-grooming her wings. Cassie and I are going to help her when she gets done, but Lucifer always takes way too long to prepare his wings, so we decided to cook in the meantime," Gabriel said. "And I cleaned the kitchen, too."

"Pre-grooming? Sounds like a pain in the ass. By the way, what pronouns are we supposed to use for Lucifer? I mean, I've been going back and forth like everyone else, but..." Dean trailed off.

"I don't care what pronouns you use, Dean-O," Lucifer said by way of greeting as she entered the kitchen and snatched a small bite of pancake from Castiel's pan. "He, She, It, Lord of Hellfire and Darkness, etcetera."

Dean flipped her off and grabbed three pancakes, smearing butter on all three before smothering them in syrup. Gabriel gave him a nod of approval, Castiel looked on with concern (hand extended to prevent any possible heart attack), and Lucifer just grabbed three pancakes and followed Dean to the table.

"Where's the moose? There's something we need to demonstrate to both of you," Lucifer informed Dean, shoveling pancake into her face.

"Still in bed. I'm sure he'll be out here in a moment," Gabriel said. "I conked him and Dean out rather well last night so we could get all the cleaning and preparing done, so it's taking him a little more effort to wake up."

"You're the one who knocked me out?" Dean asked incredulously. "Why?"

"Like I said, we needed to clean the bunker, and we couldn't do that with you two distracting us," Gabriel replied. "So I made you two fall asleep and the three of us began the cleaning and started the cooking. We also added a ton of new wards and signs, so don't get freaked out if you happen to bump into one that you don't recognize. Although, Dean, you're more likely to do that than Sam..."

"Ah, speak of the devil," Lucifer said, snickering. Sam had appeared in the doorway, hair messy and eyes drooping.

"Mornin', sunshine!" Gabriel announced cheerily. "Ready to learn how to groom an angel?"

Dean spit out the orange juice in his mouth as Sam's head turned toward Gabriel in slight interest. 

"What?"

"Lucifer is in need of a grooming, especially after all of the blood yesterday. So, Gabriel and I have decided that, since you two are to be our mates and therefore are required to groom our wings regularly, we would demonstrate the proper methods on Lucifer's wings," Castiel explained.

"Don't worry, Dean, I'm not going to have a crazy orgasm with you in the room. The wing-touching only brings sexual pleasure if the angel's mate is the one doing the touching," Lucifer said, rolling her eyes at Dean's expression. "And, seeing as these two are my brothers and you two are their mates, the only feeling I'm going to get is something akin to this." She pressed a finger gently to Dean's hand and moved it around a little.

"How do you know? Maybe one of us is a potential mate," Sam suggested.

Pain briefly flashed across Lucifer's face. "That's not possible."

"Of course it is. If Cas and Gabe can have mates, then why can't you?" Dean asked.

"Because when I was cast out of Heaven, God took my destiny and changed it to the point that I could never, ever find a mate. I was doomed to be alone in the worst way for the rest of eternity," the devil explained, tears in her eyes. "I tried. God, did I try. But I never felt what the other angels had told me was the best feeling in the world. The feelings of mate, home, the overwhelming love, and I could never experience them."

"But Luci, you and God made up. Maybe he changed it back?" Sam asked.

"No," Lucifer said with a rueful smile, shaking her head, "I'm sure he's forgotten, what with the dealings with Amara and all. Maybe someday he'll change it back, but until then I'm going to have to deal with you idiots groping my wings instead of a mate. Which we should probably get to, by the way."

Sounds of agreement echoed across the room as Lucifer stood up, heading out into the main room. An unspoken agreement passed between the remaining occupants of the room as she left, all agreeing to help Lucifer find the One.

Castiel, Dean, Gabriel, and Sam all followed Satan out of the kitchen, pausing next to the table. Lucifer had pulled a chair into the most open space of the room and was now taking her shirt off.

"Hey!" Dean yelled, covering his eyes. "Cover up!"

"And how the hell do you expect me to whip 'em out with a shirt on?" Lucifer replied, raising an eyebrow. "It's this or nothing, cowboy. Besides, I'm still wearing a  _bra_. Jesus, you'd expect the chronic ladies' man incapable of being scandalized."

"I wouldn't be, if you weren't in my freaking  _sister_ ," Dean hissed.

"Ooooh, kinky," Lucifer said, waggling her eyebrows as she dropped the shirt on the floor and turned the wrong way around into the chair, her chest towards the back of the chair as she straddled the bottom. The bra didn't cover much of her back, Dean noticed glumly. "Alrighty, Winchesters, you're gonna have to turn around for this part. I'm a little rusty and I don't want to burn your eyes out."

Sam and Dean dutifully spun 180 degrees to face the wall, not really knowing what to expect. They'd both seen the wings of their respective angels, but they didn't have any idea what the wings of a fallen angel would look like. The sound of rustling feathers filled the room before the Winchesters felt a wave of something that the Devil's wings never should have put off--peace.

"Okay, boys, about-face."

Sam gasped as he moved to face the archangel, pulling Dean with him. They both stared in awe at the incredible sight before them.

Three pairs of wings, all white as the purest untouched snow, branched out from Lucifer's back. The biggest pair were anchored between her shoulderblades and her spine on either side while the second, slightly smaller pair were anchored just below her bra strap. The smallest pair was only a couple of inches below that, fluttering slightly. All of the pairs were stretched out, the uppermost reaching a wingspan of 20 feet and the smallest with a span of ten. The wings seemed to glow, similar to the way Gabriel's had, but this glow was different. This glow was an aura, and it managed to make the Winchesters feel things they hadn't felt in years--a sense of home, of family, of peacefulness and forgiveness and  _hope_.

"Stop thinking so loud," Lucifer said, more gently than intended. This happened to everyone who looked upon the wings of the Devil-ironically the most beautiful set in the universe.

"Bible lore, remember? Luci here was the most beautiful angel in Heaven before he was cast into Hell. Lucifer means 'light-bringer', and with the nickname of Morningstar, he had the job of bringing light to the darkest reaches of the universe. He's the only one out of all of us with the perfectly white wings. Any of the others with white wings have little speckles or ombres of brown or black," Gabriel explained.

"You are the only humans to have seen these wings in two billion years," Castiel said reverently. "And now you will be the first to touch them."

The brothers nodded dumbly, Sam stepping forward to brush his hand along the bone of one of the middle pair. The surprisingly warm feathers twitched under his hand, the entire wing pressing further into the touch.

"Oh, that feels amazing, do it again," Lucifer said, groaning. "It's been  _ages_ since anyone's touched them. There's an itch, actually, just to the left of where--ohhh."

"Where do we start?" Dean asked, still slightly mesmerized. 

"We'll pull out all of the old, dead feathers first," Castiel said, brushing a clump on one of the larger wings out with his hand. "Then, we'll use some soap Gabriel and I made last night to clean them, and Lucifer's wing oil from the glands at the base of the wings to condition them. It's the same process you two will use on Gabriel and I's feathers when you fulfill your duties as our mates."

The four got to work on the devil's lowest pair of wings, smoothing clumps of feathers out and letting the excess dead fall to the floor. By the time they were done with the small pair, the floor was covered in slightly glowing feathers.

"They already feel so much lighter," Lucifer informed them. "Go to the next ones, please."

"Gabriel and I will get the middle pair. You and Sam can work on the large pair. Lucifer, please move your largest pair out to the back and the middle to the sides," Castiel ordered matter-of-factly.

Sam and Dean watched in awe as the topmost wings folded inward before pulling in towards each other and extending out behind Lucifer. The middle wings stretched out to the side simultaneously, and the foursome got to work again.

"So you can maneuver each wing separately?" Sam asked, wincing as a large clump of feathers fell to the ground.

"Yeah. Think of it like having six extra arms on your back. You can move them all of them just as well as you can move the ones you've got right now. There are certain ways wings can bend that arms can't, but it's the best way to describe it in terms you'd understand," Lucifer explained. 

"How does the blade tornado work?" Dean inquired absently, pulling gently at a knot.

"If I'm threatened or defensive, my feathers sharpen into points. When that happens, I have two options. If my opponent seems easily intimidated, I can just use them to look bigger and more threatening. If they're not, like the demons were yesterday, then I can use the smallest pair to whip around and slice things with my bigger pair. Gabriel's better at it than I am, simply because I'd been in the Pit for so long. He had time to practice," Lucifer said as she shook out her wings, the last of the dead feathers floating to the floor.

The angels and the Winchesters stepped back, admiring their handiwork. The wings looked better, more glorious, than they had before, and Sam and Dean found themselves mesmerized again. Gabriel scoffed and handed Castiel a spray bottle.

"Those two are still trying to wrap their heads around this, so let's spray the soap onto Luci's wings real quick and clean them out before we get started on the conditioning."

The two got started on their task, the Winchesters joining them a few minutes later when the initial shock of seeing Lucifer's wings clean and shining faded. They sprayed Lucifer's wings down with the soapy water and rinsed them out with a damp washcloth. When they were done, Lucifer stretched her wings out before rolling her shoulders.

"Alright, let's get this over with," she said, cracking her neck.

"Why all the theatrics?" Sam asked.

"This part's kind of painful," Lucifer replied, grimacing. "For an unmated angel, having anyone that's not their destined mate touch their oil glands is like someone pulling hard on your hair or ears. It's a little better if it's family, but even then it's not comfortable at all. If I was in my true form, it wouldn't hurt at all, but you two need to see the best way to do this, so I'm gonna stick with my vessel."

"What does it feel like to a mated angel?" Dean glanced sidelong at Castiel, whose face was developing a blush. Even Gabriel looked a little flushed.

"It's said to be the most intense pleasure an angel can get from their wings," Lucifer told him. "According to the others, you can come just from your mate brushing their hand up against the glands."

"That's why we didn't demonstrate with our own wings," Castiel added. "It would have made for an immeasurably awkward experience for all those involved."

"Can we get this over with? I need to catch up on Game of Thrones," Lucifer said, ruffling her feathers slightly.

Gabriel gently pulled a wing toward him, exposing a small bump at the base. He beckoned Sam and Dean closer, pointing to it. "That's one of Luci's oil glands. On a regular angel like Cassie there, there's only one oil gland at the base of each wing. On archangels like Luci and I, who tend to get a lot more blood in our wings, there are two. The second one is on the outside of the wing. In order to get the oil flowing, you can either get the angel really turned on, or just gently massage the gland until you feel the oil on your fingers."

The archangel pressed his fingers lightly against Lucifer's gland, the Devil grimacing slightly at the contact. Slowly moving his fingers in a circular motion, Gabriel began threading his now-oily fingers through the rest of the wings.

"You two start on the lower pairs while Castiel and I work on the upper pair. Remember to not squeeze too hard, and make sure that the oil covers all of the feathers evenly," Gabriel began. "Make sure to do both sides of the wings, too."

The Winchester brothers set to work, not noticing the look that passed between Gabriel and Castiel as they both thought about how their mates grooming their wings would feel. Gabriel set mental reminders in both his and Castiel's brains to reinforce the soundproofing in Sam and Dean's respective bedrooms. They'd need it.

No one spoke as the sound of oil sliding across rustling feathers filled the room, Sam and Dean both incredibly concentrated on their task. Surprisingly, Lucifer hadn't complained of any pain so far. The brothers finished with the bottom pair of wings and got started on the middle pair, smoothing down the feathers.

"Do I have to do this every time I groom your wings, Gabe?" Sam inquired curiously.

"Nah, Luci's hadn't been groomed in a damn long time, so they needed more work. Mine were recently done, so all you'll have to do is pull out dead feathers and condition my wings with oil. If anyone's got a problem job, it's Dean," Gabriel remarked offhandedly.

"Me? Why?"

"Castiel's wings are in a pretty sorry state. After everything that's happened to them, I'm not surprised, but they're mangled pretty bad," Lucifer said, wincing and rolling her shoulder back. "I saw them when I was in Castiel's vessel. You've got your work cut out for you, Dean-o."

"They're hurt?" Dean asked concernedly, pulling just a bit too hard on Lucifer's wing.

"Hey! _That_  freaking hurts!"

"No, Dean, they are not hurt. They are simply extremely untidy," Castiel replied, putting the finishing touches on his brother's feathered appendages.

The Winchesters stood, admiring their handiwork. Lucifer's wings were even more beautiful now, as impossible as it seemed. 

"All done, Luci. You can put your wings away and your shirt back on and watch Game of Thrones with the best noise-canceling headphones you can find," Gabriel announced, smirking. "You'll need them."

"Yeah, yeah," Lucifer said, flapping the wings a bit before folding them literally  _into her back_. Sam and Dean gaped at her as she put her shirt back on, but recovered when nudged by their respective angels. "Go have extremely loud buttsex. I'm gonna watch Game of Thrones and bleach my brain of the images that come up when I associate you four and the words, ' _extremely loud buttsex'."_

Lucifer settled onto the couch and turned her iPad on, plugging in some grace-reinforced noise-blocking headphones. She started on the episode she'd left off on last time, pointedly ignoring the sounds of the door shutting down the hallway.

 _I wonder if I'll ever find a mate,_ the devil thought before immersing herself in the world of Westeros.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did y'all think? Leave me a comment or two!
> 
> The next two chapters will be Sabriel and Destiel--in that order, with wing kink included! Yay!
> 
> Kudos, subscribe, bookmark, comment, etcetera--do what you want!
> 
> I love constructive criticism!


	9. Nocte Praeconis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sam and Gabriel get it on (after an obligatory wing grooming, of course).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I received a comment on Starlight in Green Eyes and that reminded me that this story is still going...
> 
> So I decided to update! With some gratuitous Sabriel smut!
> 
> Enjoy!

Sam shut the door, cracking his knuckles. "Alright, Gabriel. Bring 'em out."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow before dutifully pulling his shirt off. "Sure thing, Sammoose. But remember what I told you earlier--there's not much to groom."

"Don't care," Sam said, placing one of the barstools Dean had left in his room in the middle so Gabriel could sit in it and be able to stretch his wings out fully. The archangel plopped down, rolled his shoulders, and took a deep breath.

"Close your eyes, Sam. Don't want to hurt you."

The younger Winchester obeyed, smiling as he heard the shifting sounds of feathers fill the room. A quiet groan accompanied the rustling as Gabriel stretched his now-corporeal wings out. "Okay, Moose. You can open your eyes now."

Sam did, gasping as he saw the six golden appendages smoothly attached to his mate's back, all in the same arrangement as Lucifer's. They sparkled brightly even in the dim light of the lamp on Sam's nightstand. Like molten gold, the muscles rippled smoothly across all of them every couple seconds. The wings seemed to tremble slightly under Sam's gaze. Gabriel looked at the floor a little shyly. "Sorry they're not as beautiful as Luci's wings."

Sam couldn't answer for a minute, only able to shake his head slightly as he tentatively reached out and threaded his fingers into one of the topmost wings. He pulled a couple loose feathers out, watching them glide effortlessly to the floor, slower than normal feathers would.

"Gabe, they're..."

"Gaudy? Tacky? Too sparkly? Outrageous?" Gabriel listed off, hiding his growing dread with sarcasm.

" _Gorgeous_." It was barely a word, more of a phonetic breath, but the archangel heard it all the same. He felt his eyes get a bit watery, and assuaged the situation by smacking his mate with one of his smaller wings.

"Get on with it, kid. There's a patch of feathers that're all at the completely wrong angle, and I need you to get them out."

Sam chuckled, following orders immediately. He wove his fingers through the wings, gently pulling loose feathers out one by one. He got to the spot Gabriel had been complaining of and gently fixed the feathers there, all the while tortured by the soft moans leaving Gabriel's mouth. When he'd finished pulling the dead feathers out of all of Gabriel's wings, he gently brushed up against one of the oil glands to let Gabriel know he was ready for conditioning.

The archangel's reaction was more than he had expected.

Immediately, Gabriel bowed forward, a long, low moan leaving his lips. His wings straightened out like he was trying to stretch them to their limits, tremors rocking through them. The smallest pair thrashed, flapping back and forth as if trying to leave Gabriel's back. Sam could only watch in stunned silence.

When Gabriel was coherent again, he turned around on the barstool. Sam was surprised to see his eyes glowing gold instead of their usual sunlit-whiskey color. 

"Fuck," was all the archangel said.

"Did I...do something wrong?" Sam asked concernedly, wondering if he'd hurt his mate. He had remembered the words about how sensitive oil glands were when one's mate was touching him, but Gabriel's reaction made him think that maybe they'd been  _too_ sensitive. Maybe he'd actually hurt his mate.

Gabriel laughed, the sound low and husky. "Other than make me come in my pants like a fucking teenager? No, you did everything  _right_."

Sam couldn't help but smile. "So I didn't hurt you?"

"Far from it," Gabriel said, sliding off the barstool and pulling Sam into a kiss. "I was already turned on from you just touching my feathers, but when you brushed that gland... I don't think I can handle you touching my oil glands again. I wasn't expecting them to be as sensitive as they are under your hands."

"And what do you propose we do instead, O Mighty Archangel?" the younger Winchester asked, grinning as he stepped backwards. He sat down on the bed, pulling his mate into his lap.

"Well," Gabriel began informatively, "when an angel is  _extremely_ aroused, their wings will produce a surplus of oil." His voice became a little more wobbly as Sam began nibbling down his neck and closed his mouth around a nipple. " _Oh,_ do that again. Anyway, if that happens, you can always help disperse the oil throughout my wings. That way, I won't exhaust myself with multiple orgasms like I would if we did it the traditional way."

Sam's voice was all dark, teasing smirk and none of the shy, gentle concern from earlier as he replied, "And what if I wanted you exhausted from multiple orgasms?"

Gabriel growled, yanking Sam forward by his hair. That only served to turn the younger Winchester on even more, and he nibbled on Gabriel's jaw. "Only if you make good on that promise, Samuel."

Sam chuckled into the archangel's mouth, pulling him further up the bed and flipping them over so he was the one on top. Gabriel squirmed a bit on the bed, his wings squirming with him. Sam watched amusedly. "Having fun?"

The archangel glared at him, still moving around. When nothing seemed to do the trick, he rolled himself and Sam over again.

"Sorry, moose, no missionary for us. At least, not with the wings."

Sam shrugged, sitting up to kiss his mate even deeper. He let the archangel pull his shirt off and fling it somewhere across the room, a broken moan escaping the winged man's lips as Sam ground their hips together in a slow, dirty glide. He ground harder when his hands, firmly placed at Gabriel's clothed hips, became drenched in something that smelled like sunny days, like apple orchards in summer, like glasses of iced whiskey in hand as the sun faded away amongst the tree tops. He brought his hands around to his lips to taste what had to be Gabriel's wing oil.

The archangel watched, entranced, as his mate pressed an oil-drenched hand to his lips. He watched even more hungrily as said mate's eyes rolled back into his head at the taste.

"That's my wing oil, Sam, although I'm sure you already knew that. They say it tastes like the finest ambrosia to your mate, and that it smells like everything you consider me to be."

"It smells like home," Sam admitted, his hand returning to its former position after unbuttoning his and Gabriel's jeans.

The archangel's eyes softened affectionately, his hands moving from Sam's shoulders to his cheeks as he stared into his mate's eyes. "Your soul feels like home to me, too."

Sam snorted. "Nonsense. I've got so many cracks in my soul, you'd think it was part of Mom's last teacup that Dean broke after saving it for all those years."

"Well, it's my goddamn cracked teacup now," Gabriel said, "and I'm planning on putting the thing back together."

Sam smiled, setting his mate down on the bed as he pulled off his pants and boxers, leaving his lower half exposed to Gabriel's wide eyes.

" _Ge-iad_ _oe oadriax_ ," the archangel breathed as he stared openly at Sam's body.

"I know I've got a lot of scars. I hope they don't affect the view too much," Sam stated. "And what did you just say? That sounded like Enochian."

" _Ol g-chis-ge vvrbs._ You're beautiful, Sam," Gabriel said, scrambling to remove the rest of his clothing before lunging at Sam and knocking him to the bed.

The younger Winchester laughed as the archangel began peppering kisses around his face and neck, his unclothed ass rubbing against Sam's arousal in the most delicious way.

"Don't we need lube?"

Gabriel shook his head. "Nope," he replied, popping the 'p'. "Archangel, remember? I can do whatever the hell I want with my vessel." And, as if to prove it, he slid back and down just enough to take the head of Sam's cock into his ass.

Sam groaned at the unexpected (but welcome) slick feeling, sitting up and pulling the archangel fully into his lap, letting gravity pull the winged man down until their hips were flush and Gabriel was panting, wings trembling like before, erection weeping heavily.

" _Goddamn,_  Sam. I thought you might be proportional but this, this is heaven. I think you're in my _stomach_."

Sam laughed at that, rolling his hips just to hear the choked sound the archangel made. He wrapped his hands in Gabriel's topmost pair of wings, hoisting him up and pulling him back down a couple of inches.

Gabriel keened as the head of Sam's arousal hit his prostate straight on, his eyes flashing back to the gold and staying there. He rocked gently in his mate's lap, hands scratching lightly into Sam's back. They continued like that for a few minutes before Gabriel got impatient, wanting more than the gentle, slow motion they had adopted.

"C'mon, Moose, I know you like to be rough. I watched you a couple times with that Ruby bitch, you know. I can take much more than what you can dish out, I assure you," the archangel taunted.

It seemed to be the right thing to say, because in an instant, Sam had him pinned to the bed, wings be damned. Gabriel gasped as the taller man hoisted his legs up onto his shoulders and began thrusting in earnest.

Gabriel's sanity (and what was left of his angelic innocence) flew into the clouds, waving goodbye as the archangel they belonged to arched his back and screamed at the feeling of his mate, who most _definitely_ liked it rough, pounding him into the mattress. He was fleetingly thankful that he'd remembered to soundproof the room and had done it while taking his wings out. The thought passed, replaced by a burning inferno of pleasure that threatened to consume him completely.

Sam wasn't much better off. He hadn't expected sex with Gabriel to feel like it was their souls intertwining, not their bodies. He could actually feel Gabriel's Grace, tentatively reaching for him through the archangel's eyes, threading itself into the many, many scars in his soul. That just made the experience all the more heightened, the sensations rocking him down to the marrow of his bones. He'd had many partners in the past, both male and female, but none of them had made him feel like  _this_.

Gabriel growled, apparently having heard the errant thought, and wrapped all six of his wings around Sam as his arms came up to wrap around the taller man's shoulders. "You-are- _mine_ ," he managed to get out between thrusts, biting his mate's lower lip and scratching his back to hell.

That only made Sam thrust harder, his release nearing quicker than he wanted it to, and he buried one of his hands in his mate's wings, desperate to make the archangel come before he did. It worked, Gabriel arching off the bed with an otherworldly scream as Sam's hand brushed his oil gland. The scream didn't end, and Sam found himself washed away in the tides of ecstasy that followed as his entire world narrowed down to blinding white and the feeling of Gabriel's muscles clenching around his cock as both of them climaxed simultaneously.

* * *

They both awoke a few hours later, Sam combing through his mate's feathers to spread the oil evenly. After the second round that ensued, the two collapsed into bed, exhausted.

"Don't ever let me tell anyone you don't follow through on your promises," Gabriel said, wings now hidden on the ethereal plane.

"I won't," Sam agreed, staring at the ceiling. He hummed in contentment as Gabriel rolled onto his side, snuggling back into Sam.

"I love you," the archangel whispered quietly.

Sam was a little shocked, but completely unsurprised when his soul surged up happily to return the feeling. "I love you too, Gabriel," he said as he wrapped his arms around his mate and sunk into a welcome blackness that wholly contrasted the white-out pleasure he'd just spent the last few hours immersed in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone know of a reliable Latin translator I can use? My titles so far have all been in Latin and I've been using Google Translate, which is kind of infamous for hilariously inaccurate translations.
> 
> I've been trying to just deal with it, but it's getting a little annoying to have to check my translations with a bunch of different sources every time...
> 
> Anyway, please leave a comment or some kudos! Comments make me really freaking happy and keep my motivation to write alive.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Abandoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A note to the readers of this story.

I'm not sure how many of you are still holding out for an update on this, but I'm sorry to say to those who are that I am officially abandoning this story. I won't delete it, so you'll still be able to read it, but there won't be another update unless I'm struck by an idea that's so good that it immediately needs to be put in the story. I'm sorry to do this, but I've lost inspiration for this fic and if I tried to write something more it would be mediocre at best, and you guys don't deserve that. Besides, there wasn't really a pressing story, so it's not like I dropped the plot off. The only thing still missing is a Destiel sex scene and there are plenty of those to go around in my other fics. 

Again, I'm really sorry for abandoning this, but I just can't bring myself to keep writing it due to my loss of inspiration. If me ending this with no closure will literally kill you, let me know in the comments and I'll try my best to end it on a good, non-cliffhanger note. Other than that, this will be the final time I post a chapter for You and Me and the Devil Makes Three.

Thanks to everyone who left kudos on this work!


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